5:32 PM


I was the air that you breathe
I was the words that you speak
I was the song that you sang
I was the one you cheated on
I was the one who held tight to your hand
I was the one who kissed you good night
You were the one who bid me goodbye..

I hate this. It's February.
I don't think I wanna wake up on the 6th of Feb. If only..if only we're still together....then this coming 6th Feb will be our 2nd year. Then we'll talk about how far we've come together. The amount of storm we've fought through together. The many fights we had but manage to make up for it. The sad nights, misunderstanding, losing trust in each other, fickle minded about things. Despite our overly huge difference, I accepted you as who you are; a heartbreaker.

I'm amazed at the way you made me wait so foolishly. Like an idiot...I waited for months. Watching you date someone else and try too hard to be happy about it. Encouraging you to not break up and to go on doing whatever you think is right. I'm not trying to say I'm very good and all that...but the least you could do is realise I was there all the time. Good or bad times, I stood strong for you to lean on. I was the one who took all the blame for you. I couldn't care less about what they say about me. If either one of us has to hurt, I'll gladly be the one. I'll absorb your pain and ignore mine. I just wanted you to be happy.

Soon, you forgot about my existence. You stood tall, happy and cured from the recent break up 2 weeks after our 15th month because you supposedly have someone to call your own. Someone who captured your heart too fast, someone you gave me up for. When you found out I've been drinking, you came over to my place and cried and said you hate to see me in this state. But what else can I do? Everyday I wake up, telling myself that I'm over you. I actually had the courage to persuade you to make things right with her. When I told you I sort of like someone else, you got upset. You told me ' i guess i should've listened to my heart, nobody ever waits faithfully... '

Talk about faithful. Girl, were you faithful to me then? Were you? Yeah, for the first few months. Say....3. You so went right into her arms please. Believe me, now I still wonder why I forgave you and trusted you so much. I've learnt alot from you for the past 15 months. I've learnt how to love. How to break people's heart. How to ignore dates. How to push you aside. Really, it wasn't easy for me. You, on the other hand, never felt sorry at all. You only feel guilty for 5 minutes and you're back as your old sly self. Sigh...whatever it is, I'm glad it's so over. I don't think I can go on like I did if you were still mine. I'd probably end up with a few counselling sessions... Wah, this is one of those posts about you that's not so...angsty or vulgar.

Now this is a sign... (:
a good sign.
I think 2007 will be a good year.
& 060205 died long ago.
This year's 060205 means..a new beginning.
Til then..